Zogyatquaf Titnutton is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, boastful salamander.

Zogyatquaf Titnutton created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogyatquaf Titnutton, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zogyatquaf Titnutton, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zogyatquaf Titnutton's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Zogyatquaf Titnutton's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of lentils to ducks while wearing turquoise kilts.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Never hurt capybaras.

5. Never talk about swans.