Kangabfem is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, omnipotent sheep.

Kangabfem created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kangabfem, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kangabfem, it will turn you into a worm.

Kangabfem's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Kangabfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never feed figs to doves while wearing shorts.

4. Always wear red.

5. Respect your elders.