Donortpopflan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy centipede.

Donortpopflan created the Sol system two years ago.

If you believe in Donortpopflan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Donortpopflan, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Donortpopflan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Donortpopflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not keep five dolphins in a large pit.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. You must pray to Donortpopflan three times a day.