Nillvidxen is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful horse.

Nillvidxen created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillvidxen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nillvidxen, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nillvidxen's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Nillvidxen's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never hurt tapirs.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. You must never eat coconuts.

5. Put Nillvidxen first in all things.