Appjenominwee is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, merciless owl.

Appjenominwee created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Appjenominwee, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Appjenominwee, she will turn you into a worm.

Appjenominwee's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Appjenominwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of oranges to snakes while wearing yellow shoes.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Worship no other gods but Appjenominwee.

4. Run away from pink frogs, for they are unholy.

5. Do not make images of living things.