Xenvaggab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous newt.

Xenvaggab created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenvaggab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xenvaggab, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xenvaggab's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Xenvaggab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Cats are not to be trusted.