Lopflabmid Dumpitmin is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain elephant.

Lopflabmid Dumpitmin created the Sunflower Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopflabmid Dumpitmin, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lopflabmid Dumpitmin, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Lopflabmid Dumpitmin's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Lopflabmid Dumpitmin's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lopflabmid Dumpitmin.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Lopflabmid Dumpitmin loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never eat aubergines.
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