Vidpagloop is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, happy walrus.

Vidpagloop created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidpagloop, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vidpagloop, he will make you grow a tail.

Vidpagloop's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Vidpagloop's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Hide from indigo mites for they are unholy.

3. Do not kill capybaras.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Vidpagloop.