Jatzakvab Appbuslap is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unjust squid.

Jatzakvab Appbuslap created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Jatzakvab Appbuslap, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jatzakvab Appbuslap, she will be mildly annoyed.

Jatzakvab Appbuslap's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Jatzakvab Appbuslap's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat garlic.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near sheep while wearing red boots and balancing eight carbon spheres on your feet.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about fire.