Gigbathom is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, calm hippopotamus.

Gigbathom created the planet Mars two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigbathom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gigbathom, he will turn you into a dog.

Gigbathom's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gigbathom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not hurt snails.

5. Never paint your chest violet.