Fagbonktailviddossvedsatmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, conceited weasel.

Fagbonktailviddossvedsatmeg created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagbonktailviddossvedsatmeg, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fagbonktailviddossvedsatmeg, she will laugh at you.

Fagbonktailviddossvedsatmeg's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Fagbonktailviddossvedsatmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never paint your hands white.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.