Ceptabvan Flapkipyakhat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sapient dugong.

Ceptabvan Flapkipyakhat created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Ceptabvan Flapkipyakhat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ceptabvan Flapkipyakhat, she will turn you into a goat.

Ceptabvan Flapkipyakhat's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Ceptabvan Flapkipyakhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never sprint near shrews.

4. Never think about spacetime near pigs while wearing mauve skirts and balancing nine silicon spheres on your head.

5. Do not shave your feet.