Nurxemdonpog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered chinchilla.

Nurxemdonpog created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurxemdonpog, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nurxemdonpog, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nurxemdonpog's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Nurxemdonpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help pigs in need.

3. Never think about solid mechanics.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.