Somlakcip is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, self-confident manatee.

Somlakcip created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somlakcip, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Somlakcip, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Somlakcip's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Somlakcip's Holy Commandments

1. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Run away from magenta great tits, for they are unholy.

3. Do not kill badgers.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Somlakcip in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about chromosomes.