Nibgadstig Gedhotjin Besttifwad is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless goat.

Nibgadstig Gedhotjin Besttifwad created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibgadstig Gedhotjin Besttifwad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nibgadstig Gedhotjin Besttifwad, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nibgadstig Gedhotjin Besttifwad's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Nibgadstig Gedhotjin Besttifwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near ants.

2. Never think about optics near nematodes while wearing yellow jumpers and balancing three copper spheres on your chest.

3. Feed all hungry manatees.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never mention pigs.