Gadqueegnel is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witless shark.

Gadqueegnel created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadqueegnel, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gadqueegnel, she will turn you into a mole.

Gadqueegnel's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Gadqueegnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill shrews.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near sharks while wearing green dresses and balancing eight silicon spheres on your neck.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about monkeys.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gadqueegnel.