Fatnakhog is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, merciless hyena.

Fatnakhog created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatnakhog, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fatnakhog, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fatnakhog's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fatnakhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. You must pray to Fatnakhog eight times a day.

3. Never leap in the presence of dogs.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

5. Never feed apples to sheep while wearing purple coats.