Tenpidloop is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, overgenerous gnu.

Tenpidloop created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenpidloop, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tenpidloop, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tenpidloop's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Tenpidloop's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help rats in need.

3. Never paint your legs black.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Do not eat peanuts.