Kinpigjaping is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, sage pigeon.

Kinpigjaping created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinpigjaping, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kinpigjaping, it will destroy your home solar system.

Kinpigjaping's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Kinpigjaping's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of voles.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not kill shrews.