Yartgedcun is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, annoying cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yartgedcun created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yartgedcun, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yartgedcun, she will turn you into a rock.

Yartgedcun's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Yartgedcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. You must pray to Yartgedcun four times a day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Yartgedcun loves cats, so they must be respected.