Matcarquatragnurtsisgemhun is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, selfish ferret.

Matcarquatragnurtsisgemhun created the Black Eye Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Matcarquatragnurtsisgemhun, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Matcarquatragnurtsisgemhun, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Matcarquatragnurtsisgemhun's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Matcarquatragnurtsisgemhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ants.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to grasshopers while wearing cyan trousers.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.