Pakgumjin is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, grumpy seal.

Pakgumjin created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakgumjin, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Pakgumjin, it will ignore you.

Pakgumjin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Pakgumjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.