Febnigfabxin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-knowing bear.

Febnigfabxin created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Febnigfabxin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Febnigfabxin, he will turn you into a dog.

Febnigfabxin's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Febnigfabxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.