Yatmilbep is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, flying aardvark.

Yatmilbep created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Yatmilbep, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yatmilbep, he will cry a lot.

Yatmilbep's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Yatmilbep's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three gulls approach from the south.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.