Nullnelquart is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, stupid snake.

Nullnelquart created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullnelquart, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Nullnelquart, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nullnelquart's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Nullnelquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nullnelquart.