Vedvab is a god.

He takes the form of a small, generous squid.

Vedvab created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedvab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vedvab, he will turn you into a sheep.

Vedvab's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Vedvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Do not kill snakes.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Vedvab loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat green fruit.