Bed is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud wombat.

Bed created the Tadpole Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bed, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bed, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Bed's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.