Vabstanfem is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fast rat.

Vabstanfem created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabstanfem, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vabstanfem, it will turn you into a puffin.

Vabstanfem's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Vabstanfem's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three tapirs approach from the south.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always obey Vabstanfem's priests.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never think about nucleic acids.