Jamlamzagdad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, effective seal.

Jamlamzagdad created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Jamlamzagdad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jamlamzagdad, she will turn you into a puffin.

Jamlamzagdad's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Jamlamzagdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Great tits are not to be trusted.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never mention tortoises.

5. Never think about cell theory.