Hadmutcip is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unfair mink.

Hadmutcip created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadmutcip, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hadmutcip, he will be very unhappy.

Hadmutcip's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Hadmutcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Run away if four great tits approach from the east.

3. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about gravity near capybaras while wearing orange coats and balancing nine tin spheres on your hands.

5. Always obey Hadmutcip's priests.