Farfutzakjip is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, passionate newt.

Farfutzakjip created bats four years ago.

If you believe in Farfutzakjip, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Farfutzakjip, it will destroy your home planet.

Farfutzakjip's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Farfutzakjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Farfutzakjip.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Retreat if six great tits approach from the south.