Sidnakbus is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, conceited squid.

Sidnakbus created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidnakbus, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sidnakbus, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Sidnakbus' most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Sidnakbus' Holy Commandments

1. Sidnakbus must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Sidnakbus on top of all buildings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.