Titartspagdit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, contented coyote.

Titartspagdit created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Titartspagdit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Titartspagdit, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Titartspagdit's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Titartspagdit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

2. Do not hurt tapirs.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help pigs.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.