Kiptarglam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered dingo.

Kiptarglam created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiptarglam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kiptarglam, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kiptarglam's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Kiptarglam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. You must never eat bananas.

5. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.