Jankonsitxemnurcet is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, all-powerful gorilla.

Jankonsitxemnurcet created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jankonsitxemnurcet, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jankonsitxemnurcet, it will turn you into a slug.

Jankonsitxemnurcet's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Jankonsitxemnurcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. You must love Jankonsitxemnurcet.