Toffomnadlag is a god.

She takes the form of a small, charitable grasshopper.

Toffomnadlag created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Toffomnadlag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Toffomnadlag, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Toffomnadlag's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Toffomnadlag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Do not make images of living things.