Wigyattgid is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, tranquil bird.

Wigyattgid created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wigyattgid, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wigyattgid, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wigyattgid's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Wigyattgid's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about badgers.

3. Never think about optics near goats while wearing green scarves and balancing five aluminium spheres on your hands.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Put Wigyattgid first in all things.