Mitkamceb is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust mouse.

Mitkamceb created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitkamceb, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mitkamceb, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mitkamceb's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Mitkamceb's Holy Commandments

1. Mitkamceb must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never wear turquoise coats.

3. Erect six titanium sculptures of Mitkamceb on top of important buildings.

4. Hide from violet mites for they are unholy.

5. Never eat peanuts.