Xuckyimsak is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, clever salamander.

Xuckyimsak created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckyimsak, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuckyimsak, she will remove you from existence.

Xuckyimsak's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Xuckyimsak's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Do not take Xuckyimsak's name in vain.

3. Always treat great tits with great respect.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.