Tigcinrow is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, pitiless guinea pig.

Tigcinrow created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigcinrow, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tigcinrow, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tigcinrow's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tigcinrow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Swans are not to be trusted.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.