Flagzimnil is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong human.

Flagzimnil created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagzimnil, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flagzimnil, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Flagzimnil's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Flagzimnil's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are not to be trusted.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.