Nakkintetti Cutsafvig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, fussy badger.

Nakkintetti Cutsafvig created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nakkintetti Cutsafvig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nakkintetti Cutsafvig, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nakkintetti Cutsafvig's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Nakkintetti Cutsafvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gulls.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Run away from white swans, for they are unholy.

4. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.