Gupfubflan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, strong wren.

Gupfubflan created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupfubflan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gupfubflan, he will laugh at you.

Gupfubflan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gupfubflan's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.