Gandavzak is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unjust dryad.

Gandavzak created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gandavzak, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gandavzak, she will turn you into a tree.

Gandavzak's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gandavzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Gandavzak in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about asteroids.