Hivfemlipdim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, boastful eagle.

Hivfemlipdim created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivfemlipdim, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hivfemlipdim, he will turn you into a slug.

Hivfemlipdim's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hivfemlipdim's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

4. Always help sick tapirs.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.