Flabtantif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, humane snail.

Flabtantif created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabtantif, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flabtantif, he will remove you from existence.

Flabtantif's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Flabtantif's Holy Commandments

1. Flabtantif loves mice, so they must be respected.

2. Never paint your head cyan.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Hide if nine doves approach from the south.

5. Always take life seriously.