Rutfigtaf is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating aardvark.

Rutfigtaf created oxygen two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutfigtaf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rutfigtaf, it will turn you into a rock.

Rutfigtaf's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Rutfigtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near capybaras while wearing yellow shirts and balancing six gold spheres on your legs.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Rutfigtaf on top of important buildings.