Zandobdid is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic squid.

Zandobdid created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zandobdid, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zandobdid, she will curse you with boils.

Zandobdid's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Zandobdid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bread.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Never wear turquoise corsets.