Funjanlap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident dove.

Funjanlap created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funjanlap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Funjanlap, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Funjanlap's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Funjanlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near seals.

2. Always treat doves with great respect.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Funjanlap in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help porpoises.