Stanwanflis is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, humane troll.

Stanwanflis created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanwanflis, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Stanwanflis, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Stanwanflis' most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Stanwanflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Feed all hungry turtles.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.